The Chariot and Tantra Illuminated

Plus, publication updates!

A few weeks ago, a book titled Tantra Illuminated: The Philosophy, History, and Practice of a Timeless Tradition by Christopher D. Wallis appeared in the Little Free Library outside my house. The book was covered with marginalia, and someone had stuck a copy of a divine goddess oracle card between two pages. (It was Rhiannon, the Welsh goddess of horses, rebirth, the moon, and fertility — yes, there is rich Chariot symbolism afoot).

I had an overwhelming sense that this book was meant for me. While I’ve been curious about tantric practices for a few years, I haven’t done any real study on the subject. At first, I skimmed through the book, reading scribbled notes like “we seek not just to know wisdom but to fully embody it” and “you will ultimately have to let go of all your self-images to be free” before my eyes settled on this passage from page 81:

“Desire becomes a vehicle to your liberation when you trace it back to its source and realize that your desire for some external situation (whether a car, a spouse, whatever) is really a desire for the feeling, the flavor of consciousness, that having that thing or person will bring you; or, to be more accurate, the feeling that you believe having that thing will bring you.

All desire boils down to the fundamental desire for the fullness of being … this fullness of being is not accomplished by a quantitative accumulation of good experiences. It is your natural state … it is accessed by finding the primal root of your desire, far deeper than any particular wanting, and letting it explode with the realization that ultimately you simply desire to be the whole of what you are. The intensity of this desire has the power to shatter the confines of the constructed self, for it is not satisfied until it is connected to everything. In this way, desire does become a vehicle of your liberation. 

. . . whenever you are centered in the real core of your being, a completely different kind of desire can arise: the ‘pure desire’ that is a natural flowing forth of your essence-nature into embodied action. It does not seek to grasp something and bring it in. It is the opposite movement: an impulse to share yourself, to connect your innate vibration with the world. This desire does not limit or contract you, for it does not arise from self-image but from a much deeper place. This is the kind of desire that the Tantra honors unreservedly, the longing not only to be your Self but to act in the world as a beautiful expression of that Self.

So first the longing to know and experience the fullness of your being takes you deep inside. And then upon experiencing that fullness, the pure desire to share and express that fullness in the world carries you out again in embodied, compassionate action.” 

Maybe I’m just seeing the way the Chariot is connected to everything because I’ve been fixated on the card for the last four months, but this passage felt like such an apt description of the Charioteer’s energy. The concept of kindling and holding desire — of grasping that primal urge, that wanting, and not seeking an immediate release, not focusing on the outcome — is inherently part of the lesson of this card. 

This connection between Tantra and the Chariot piqued my curiosity. In many versions of the card, you’ll find yoni and lingam symbols. The yoni (vulva/womb) represents the Hindu goddess Shakti, and its counterpart, the lingam (phallus), represents the Hindu god Shiva. In tantric practices, when connected, the two symbolize the life force of the universe, the union of feminine and masculine energy, a celebration of eternal creation and birth. 

Watercolor by Xaviera Lopez for The Rebis: Chariot

This life force feels like the raw essence of the Charioteer.

Taschen’s Book of Symbols references the lingam as “all the flamelike potentialities for creation” and “the self-containment of the yogi.” Quoting Stella Kramrisch’s The Presence of Śiva, “The yogi … transforms sexual urge and directs it away from procreation and pleasure toward intuited wisdom, toward freedom and bliss.”

In other words, if you can hold onto your deepest desires, you may find yourself on a path toward self-knowledge and self-liberation. 

This concept is explored further on a podcast called Weird Studies hosted by Phil Ford and J.F. Martel. I couldn’t find a transcript for the episode (“An Air of Great Power: On the Chariot in the Tarot”), and the meandering conversational style makes direct quotes tricky, but the takeaway is similar: The Charioteer must free themselves from what they think they’re supposed to want to discover the kind of movement, the kind of growth, their soul needs.

If we can learn how to hold onto our desire and use it as fuel — not to accumulate, not to achieve, but so that we can access ourselves more fully — we get closer to an embodied sense of wholeness. That line from Tantra Illuminated stands out: “ultimately you simply desire to be the whole of what you are.”

This reminded me of a poem. In June, I took a writing workshop with poet and novelist Joseph Fasano. In one of our first classes, he shared the following:

“All I want is to be more of what I am.”

This is our anthem. This is the song of the Charioteer.

There is so much more to say, which is why we have devoted approximately 140 pages to the subject in our upcoming anthology The Rebis: Chariot, a collection of writing and art from 28 contributors.

I have a tab open with the publication’s layout (!!!) and over the next few weeks, we’ll be finalizing everything and shipping it off to the printer. A pre-order link is coming soon. In the meantime, we’re doing artist features on Instagram, with each contributor sharing more about their relationship to the Chariot.

Happy full moon, friends. It’s a big one for me, and for so many people I know. 

— Hannah