The Chariot is a portal into the unknown — and it is also a homecoming

An excerpt from The Rebis: Chariot

To our new Substack subscribers, thank you for joining us. The Rebis: Chariot is our latest issue: an 8x10 book filled with 120 pages of personal essays, fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, prose, original artwork, and a ritual guide — perspectives stitched together from 28 writers, artists, and tarotists.

If you missed the news earlier this month, The Rebis: Chariot is now available to purchase, and profits are distributed among three social justice orgs. Orders ship out later this week! It’s so thrilling to know that many of you will soon be holding the publication, turning its pages, and absorbing the wisdom of our contributors.

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Today, I’m sharing an excerpt from the editor’s note for The Rebis: Chariot.

It took many hours of deep reflection before this piece of writing poured out of me so quickly that I missed words while ferociously typing and had to go back and carefully edit. This is usually how I create: internally at first, at a pace that feels painfully slow, and then all at once the well overflows and I’ll nearly drown in ideas and words. 

The Rebis: Chariot. Photograph by Nick Jacobs

EDITOR’S NOTE, an excerpt from The Rebis: Chariot

by Hannah Levy

The Chariot is a portal into the unknown. If you have ever taken a big risk, done something that scares you, moved away from what feels safe, stretched yourself in a profound way — if you have ever felt the erotic thrill of stepping towards a deeply held desire, the ground beneath you shifting as you move in closer — then you know what it feels like to climb into the Chariot. This is not a comfortable ride with clear direction and paved roads. It is a departure, a migration, an exodus. But it is also a homecoming. 

I know this journey well. I have been a charioteer for the past few years after embarking on a new life path, one that curves away from the narrow roads I had grown accustomed to. I walked away from an established career. I changed how I approach relationships. I set (and held) boundaries. I’m learning how to dismantle old ways of thinking, how to emotionally excavate until I reach a place that feels authentic and true. It’s been isolating at times, full of uncertainty and fear. But it’s also been expansive, liberating. And it has brought me more love and joy than I could have ever imagined. For the first time in a long time, I am able to name what I want and walk towards it. 

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The Chariot is an ancient symbol of success, triumph, heroism. But this symbolism centers victory born from conquest and violence. As the first war machine, the chariot is a vehicle of colonization. Of power over others. It pulses with masculine energy — historical depictions show an armored warrior in the throes of battle or princely figures parading olympically amongst adoring crowds. 

Perhaps this is why I never connected with the Chariot card, the seventh card of the Major Arcana. By the time I discovered tarot, I had been grappling with the notion of “success” as defined by capitalism — wealth, status, recognition, fame. I could wax poetic about what it means to reckon with our modern fetishism of ambition, but it boils down to something I wrote in my journal when I was 19 years old: “Is it still success if no one thinks it’s successful but me?” 

The question haunted me as I climbed the corporate ladder. And it followed me after I took a flying leap off. So when the Chariot kept showing up, it felt like the universe was telling me to look closer. I listened and realized this card had so much more to say. 

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Last year, I found my way back to horseback riding after more than 25 years, right around the time I founded The Rebis. The synchronicity is symbolic. These magnificent creatures have taught me to be more present with myself — with my body, my emotions, my intuition. Horses respond to subtle movements and cues, and getting my horse to listen to me requires both pressure and release.

It’s the release that’s been hardest for me to learn, in horseback riding and in life. When I really feel the weight and chaos of being human, I long for control, as many of us do. It's scary to consider letting go of anything — of power we’ve gained, or people we’ve loved, or beliefs we've carried around for decades. But I’m discovering that the most potent type of personal growth comes from navigating the tension between control and surrender, from knowing when to tighten my grip on the reins and when it’s time to release.

I’m no longer interested in always having to be the best, to appear strong, or right, or good. I’ve been softening into myself, listening to my body’s rhythms and desires. I’m realizing that I can be both confident and vulnerable, and that the fulcrum point of this opposition is where the most magic happens.

The full editor’s note can be found in The Rebis: Chariot, now available to order.

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Like many of our contributors, I have a complicated relationship with the Chariot. Co-creating this publication alongside all of our writers and artists has been a healing process. It has opened my heart, has opened my entire being, to taking action and taking risks in new ways. 

The Chariot has become an invitation to build a home within myself, which is a little scary when it’s been difficult to find peace with who I am — when my internal weather can often feel overwhelming and overstimulating. I’m learning that home means accepting the full spectrum of my thoughts and feelings, all of my stories, my intensity, my fears. Home means all of the moments that squeeze at my heart, that make it beat faster, that make my limbs stretch outward to the world. Home is where I can find meaning, but where I can also face uncertainty with courage and resilience.

Thank you for reading, as always. 

Hannah

PS. For those of you who are planning to purchase The Rebis: Chariot, we’re running a promotion where you can add a copy of our Wheel of Fortune issue to your order for 60% off.  

Also, as part of this launch, our contributors put together a fun Chariot-inspired playlist on Spotify — enjoy!